Both Hands
by beezeswim
Summary: [troyella I am drawing the story of how hard we tried] If she liked Troy Bolton from the minute she first set eyes on him, and wanted him since she first heard his laugh, she has loved him since he brushed the hair out of her eyes and kissed her.
1. Our Song

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, certainly not HSM.

A/N – First HSM I've ever wrote & It's a struggle, so kind words and suggestions would be helpful. I'm also without a Beta so the mistakes are my own, so I apologize ahead of time. The title of this chapter, and the lyrics are from "Our Song" by Taylor Swift, and each chapter will contain a piece of music. I think it's a cool way to transition from a movie musical to a piece of fiction. The title of the story is taken from a song by Ani Difranco.

Prologue: Our Song

"Troy" She whispers his name through clenched teeth, and his eyes meet hers over the History book he's been immersed in for the past hour. "Stop it with the pencil; the noise is driving me nuts. I can't concentrate on my Calc." She's not sure why she agreed to study with him because he's a distraction, if he's not fidgeting in his seat, or tapping his pencil on the desk, he's looking at her with those blue eyes that make it impossible for her to actually focus on anything besides her intense need to kiss him, and see the sky colored orbs turn dark with want.

"Sorry", but she can see the amusement on his face, and when his mouth turns up into a grin it takes her breath away. It's amazing how after five months his smile alone can still give her butterflies.

Their relationship isn't perfect, and it's the little things that drive her nuts, how he zones out while watching Sports Center, when he puts her on speaker phone without warning, how he never orders French fries at lunch but always eats hers, and how he refuses to use turn signals when he changes lanes. But if it's the little things she hates, it's the stupid things that make her love him, how his eyes change colors depending on his mood, the way he bounces around the room when he sings, the little notes he leaves in her locker and the way he kisses her palm while their hands are intertwined. If she liked Troy Bolton from the minute she first set eyes on him, and wanted him since she first heard his laugh, she has loved him since he brushed the hair out of her eyes and kissed her.

He has gone back to his reading and she studies him while he highlights, his hair is shorter, and his body has filled out over the year, his shoulders broadening, and his legs and arms no longer lanky, but well defined. They both have changed since last winter and their relationship has also evolved. The kisses are no longer hesitant, and she no longer wonders about his favorite color, or what he likes on his pizza. She now knows how his skin feels under her fingers, that he smells like a mix of laundry detergent, Irish Spring soap, and sweat; she knows that he snores and sleeps on side, and that his biggest fear is disappointing his Dad. The wonder of a new crush has been replaced with the intimacy, of knowing someone _insideandout_. It's scary and thrilling and everything she has ever wanted, it constantly amazes her that her dreams have come true in the form of a boy, who is quickly becoming a man.

" Earth to Brie" His whisper breaks her out of her reverie and she can hear the laughter in his voice "You've been daydreaming for like ten minutes. What are you thinking about?" His voice turned husky and she can feel the goose bumps rise on her skin.

"You wish I was thinking about _that, _dirty boy,I was just wondering what you wanted to do for dinner. My Mom is gone on a trip for the weekend, so I'm on my own." Gabriella is aware that Troy knows her well enough to know she's lying, and she knows him well enough to know what he's going to suggest when he finds out her Mom is away.

"Really? I can think of a few things I'd like to take a bite out of." His voice is lilted, but his eyes are serious, and her knees go weak at the suggestion, remembering last night in his car, his name tumbling out of her mouth as his teeth scratched _thatspot _behind her ear, and later the feel of his lips leaving open mouth kisses on her belly. Her brown eyes lock on his blue ones, and she blushes at his knowing smirk.

"Troy Patrick Bolton, my Mother informed me that you were not to step foot in the house while she was gone, and do you think I am the type to disobey my Mommy?" Her voice is teasing and the sparkle in his eyes gets brighter as she throws her books into her tote, realizing she's packing up he quickly jams his US History book into his bag. "Lets get out of here Lover boy, I'm hungry." His hand finds hers, and he allows her to drag him out of the library, happy to just follow her lead.

* * *

"I'm playing DJ this afternoon, because if I have to listen to the new Jay-Z CD one more time I will literally die." Her voice is sarcastic and the radio kicks on, and he can see her smile out of the corner of his eyes as she beings to sing quietly.

_I was riding shotgun with my hair undone in the front seat of his car  
He's got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel  
The other on my heart  
I look around, turn the radio down  
He says baby is something wrong?  
I say nothing I was just thinking how we don't have a song  
And he says..._

Her voice gets louder as the chorus kicks in, and he laughs at the lyrics, knowing her sentimental heart will find it cute how appropriate they are.

_Our song is the slamming screen door,  
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window  
When you're on the phone and you talk real slow  
Cause it's late and your mama don't know  
Our song is the way you laugh  
The first date "man, I didn't kiss her, but I should have"  
And when I got home ... before I said amen  
Asking God if he could play it again_

" I love you." It's impulsive, but sometimes he just likes to hear it out loud, to see her face light up as she realizes that it's real. The words are confident, but quiet and she probably can't hear them over the roar of the air through the windows and the radio. His suspicions are confirmed when her hands fumble with the knobs on the dash.

"What?"

"I love you" he turns toward her slightly meeting her eyes before looking back at the road. She's painfully beautiful in the late afternoon light, and when he's with her like this it doesn't feel real, it's like they are stuck in a cheesy teen movie, where fate isn't just an obscure idea, but something you can touch.

The words sink in and her skin slowly brightens as her mouth turns up into a grin she softly replies. "I'm going to miss you Bunny", and the 'I love you too' is unspoken but he can hear its echo in her words and see it in her eyes.

They pull into the driveway and the car comes to a stop as the heat of the moment settles between them. Her statement brings everything back into focus and he knows that the warmth of their love cannot protect them from the world and their ever changing lives. The past couple of months have just been the beginning, and they still have obstacles to scale. He and Gabriella will be apart the next couple of months, she plans on working at a theater camp in Colorado with Kelsi while he is teaching tennis to elementary aged kids at the Country Club with Chad.

"We're here Bunny." Once again her voice brings him out of his daydreams.

"Must you call me Bunny? It's embarrassing, and I still don't see the connection."

"Please," She retorts "you bounce all over the stage when you sing,"

"I do not look like a rabbit when I perform."

"No you're right you look like a Bunny, and it's adorable, and I love it, and I'm hungry so can we get out of the car and order a pizza?" Her sentence speeding up as she gathers her stuff and exits the car, sending him looks of exasperation and she struggles to carry all her stuff.

"Need help?" He asks locking the car.

"No, I'm an independent women and I can carry my own shit." He laughs out loud at the curse word in her pleasant, polite girl voice, and his laughter increases as she drops a few books and her sweatshirt on the path. He watches her effort to hold on to everything from the driveway, smelling the newly trimmed grass, and the world is bathed in gold light as the sun sets in the distance. She has reached the front door and is attempting to unlock it with her hands full of stuff. She turns and gives him a look, probably noticing his stupid grin, "What are you staring at Bolton?"

"Nothing" he pauses "Everything." She turns her head and smiles, and once again he's running to catch up with her.


	2. Heaven Here

Disclaimer- I don't own HSM & I don't own Dashboard.

Chapter One: Heaven Here

Gabriella was pretty sure that if she looked up at the clock she would find that she only had ten minutes left to complete her essay on the Mexican War, and the thought alone was enough to send her into a complete panic attack. The incessant tapping of someone's pencil on their desk wasn't helping matters, and if she was a betting woman she would guess that it was her too cute for words boyfriend in the back row who was behind the noise. The tapping stopped and without lifting her eyes off the lined paper she realized Troy was done his exam and was packing up and beginning his walk towards the front of the room.

She was always very aware of Troy Bolton, rooms felt different when he was in them, and she knew the sound of his walk and the smell of his clothes. When his hand grazed her arm she looked up to meet his eyes, and in an instant she was calm and collected, and she knew that she could kill this exam. He looked towards the door, letting her know he'd be waiting outside for her, and she nodded in acknowledgment before looking back towards her exam. His quiet confidence was one of his most attractive qualities; he never doubted his own ability, or hers. It was a source of inspiration she needed in her life. She was always the shy smart girl, too scared of rejection to state her mind, but with Troy it was different. As cheesy as it was he made her believe in herself.

She concluded her essay and straightened up her papers, handing them to Mr. Killen, the history teacher, and exits the class room. She's still looking down at her notes attempting to find out how badly she screwed up the multiple choice part of the final when she hears his voice.

"Gabriella Montez" Her name on his lips gives her shivers, and she remembers cold sheets, his hands coiled through her hair, and her name spilling form his mouth in a gasp. No matter what state he's in when he says it, it's always reverent, and hearing it makes her feel beautiful. She used to spend hours laying in bed wondering if he felt the same as she did, if just one touch gave him butterflies, if her smile made his knees weak. If she was always on his mind, if grass looked greener to him, and music sounded sweeter, if food tasted better. Now there are no doubts that he's just as in love as she is, from the goofy smile that grazes his face, to the way she can make him lose control, how he touches her like she's valuable, to the way they find each other in a crowded room.

"Yes Troy Patrick?" God she loves him. He's leaning against his locker, wearing that blue button down that makes his eyes look like the color of the ocean, his head is cocked and he's grinning, with iPod headphones dangling around his neck.

She can hear the echo of music from across the hall, and he replies as he turns it down,

"Let's get lunch".

"Ok, it's like the last supper. Kels and I fly out tomorrow morning." She's teasing, but her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes, and the thought of leaving him is tearing her apart.

"We still have tonight Baby." He can't even get the words out without laughing, and their fingers intertwine as they head towards the cafeteria.

"You are so cheesy."

"Please, you love it" She does love it, she loves everything about him. The cafeteria is nearly empty but she sees Taylor, Chad, and Ryan laughing at a table in the corner and pulls him in that direction.

"Aren't we going to get food before we sit down?"

"How about you go get me lunch and I'll save us seats?" She sends him a smile, and bats her eyelashes, and she knows she has him when he sighs and turns toward the lunch line.

"Hey Brie! How'd the history final go?" Taylor asked loudly, putting a stop to the conversation that was going on at the table before she arrived. Chad and Ryan both mumbled hellos and went to work on their lunches.

"It was fine; I spent a lot of time studying calculus this weekend, so I'm hoping that one goes a little better. I really need to pull out an A in that class." Taylor looked relieved, she was taking the AP US History next, and knowing her was probably very stressed out about it "Troy studied pretty hard for history though, so he flew threw it." She finished as Troy returned to their table placing her PB&J, fruit salad and French fries in front of her.

"Thanks, but I didn't really want fries."

He looks at her quizzically as he takes the empty seat next to her, "You get fries everyday?"

Taylor begins to laugh, spitting her water onto her tray.

"What's so funny" Chad asks turning his attention from his nachos to Taylor.

"Nothing, it's just…"

"It's just nothing." Gabriella cuts her off shooting a death look across the table.

"Oh No" Troy responds "It's definitely something. One of you better explain."

"Fine," Gabriella starts. "You remember the first time you came over to the 'science table' to talk me this winter at lunch? It was the day after the call backs, and the game?"

"Yeah, I'm still missing something." His brow is furrowed and she can tell he's trying to put the pieces together.

"I had French fries, and a cheeseburger for lunch, and you came over and stole my fries, and kept coming over and stealing my fries, you still steal my fries." She finishes, pleading with him to get it, so she doesn't have to embarrass herself in front of the entire group.

"Oh you used to buy fries, because you thought that's why I would come over?"

She blushes and looks down before responding "At first and then eventually it just became a habit, and you seemed to enjoy eating my fries. I can't believe you never noticed that I would buy them, and you would eat them."

He mumbles now, because the conversation had become private, Ryan, Taylor, and Chad restarting their conversation on their summer plans, and the summer kick off party Sharpay was throwing that night. "It makes sense now I just never thought about it. I actually ate the fries the first time because I was so nervous. Later that night I spent an hour in the locker room ranting to Chad about how you probably thought I was a freak because I stole your food."

Chad looks up from across the table when here's his name and laughs when he realizes what they are talking about. "You were a fool that night Bolton. I told you she wouldn't care."

He smiles sheepishly at her, "I just wanted it to be perfect, I asked you out then."

"Yeah, I remember, and it was perfect."

"Was it really, because I remember spilling your soda all over your Math homework?"

"It was perfect Troy Patrick Bolton, because I was with you." She leans close and plants a kiss on his neck, immediately turning and looking away so her eyes don't tell him that she's scared, and terrified, because every moment with him is perfect, and how can anything ever compare to the way she feels with him. And from her short life experience she's learned that nothing this good can ever stay that way forever.

* * *

**Later**

The air is dry, and the weather is becoming increasingly warm as the summer months loom ahead. Her bedroom lights are on as he pulls the car into the drive way and he can imagine her getting ready in her room, standing in front of her mirror, tilting her head and wondering silently if she looks ok.

Which she always does, she always looks better than ok, but if has learned anything from his relationship with Gabriella it's that girls don't seem to believe that they are beautiful all the time. Personally he likes Gabriella best first thing in the morning, in her pajamas, no makeup with her hair all frizzy, and her eyes hazy with sleep. Her mom has gone away a few weekends over the past months giving him a chance to wake up next to her, feel her breath on his neck, and the warmth of her tiny body pressed up against his. He watched a movie once, where the man looks at the woman sleeping next to him and whispers that he could do this forever, and that first night tucked up next to Gabriella in sleep he understood that desire. He would gladly fall asleep with her and wake up with her every morning; nothing would make him happier.

He tried to explain this to his Father last Sunday when his Dad realized that his baby boy had spent the weekend with his girlfriend in her empty house, but his Father wasn't so understanding. Coach Bolton was seemingly okay with the musical thing, and even ok with him deciding not to attend basketball camp this summer, but he treated his relationship with Gabriella as something completely unimportant. Neither of his parents was able to see just how much she meant to him.

He hopped out of the car and headed towards the front door, at least Mrs. Montez was cool about them dating, and completely unaware of the whole sleep over thing.

The door opened and Mrs. Montez appeared, "Hello Troy, Gabriella will be down in a second." The door shut behind him and Mrs. Montez disappeared back in to the kitchen. He headed up the stairs to see what she was up too, for a self professed nerd sometimes it took her over an hour to get ready.

She was exiting her room as he got to the top of the stairs.

"I'm ready, I'm ready, god forbid you waited for like fifty seconds." She's breathless and he knows that she's been running around her bedroom rushing to finish.

"You look great." He kissed her softly, loving the way her hands twined around his neck, and the way her body felt pressed against hers.

"Let's go" he murmured against her lips "before we decide staying is a better option."

She laughs against his mouth, "staying is not an option, my Mom is down there freaking out, she's cooking dinner for Greg tonight."

"Oh fine, lets get out here then, Chad called me while I was driving over, apparently it's already out of control."

He grabs her hand and the two head down the stairs and out the door.

Pulling up into the driveway he can hear the music drift out of open doors and windows; looking over at Gabriella he can see the nervousness on her face.

"What's wrong?" He asks turning towards her, brushing her hair behind her ear.

"Nothing, It's just" she pauses turning towards him ", is the entire junior class here?"

"Probably, but hey you stick by me, we'll say hello, and then get out of here and spend some time alone, Okay?" He plants a kiss on her forehead and climbs out of the car.

Hand in hand they begin the walk into the party.

The music is loud and teens carrying red cups are filtered throughout the entire house, the air is hot, and hazy, and carries the distinguishable smell of pot.

"This is crazy Brie, I'm going to drop my sweatshirt off in Ryan's room and then we can make the rounds."

"Don't leave me Bunny. I'll come with."

Ryan's room is dark, and there are several sweaters and sweatshirts tossed on the bed. The light from the tiki torches out by the pool filters through the windows and he can hear Dashboard Confessional through the door Gabriella closed behind them.

_We are the only ones who feel it  
Tonight we drink, tonight we dance with all the last ones who can hear it  
We're calling in whispers, we're tired of waiting  
We'll take what we want and leave, leave what we know behind_

He feels her hands wrap around his waist, and her breath tickles his neck. "The next few months are going to suck."

He turns so they are face to face, pressing their foreheads together. "We'll be fine. If we are going to go to colleges on different coasts we need to get used to the distance."

_We are still dreamers in our dead sleep, naked and tangled, twisted in love  
And tonight we are the only ones who feel it  
So let it last all night, so let it last all night  
Let the fire surround us, let it all cave in, let it all burn wild  
We are leaving it all behind, we are leaving it all behind  
Heaven is here_

Her mouth turns into a pout, and her hips grind against his. "I don't want to be apart from you."

He place a kiss on her mouth, "Well we are together now," hsi voice is husky and low and he can see her eyes fill with desire.

The kisses grow more heated and her cold hands are under his t-shirt, palms graze his skin that is slowly beginning to flush.

His hands find her waist and slowly remove her tank top, she leads him over to the bed laughing as he falls on top of her.

"Be careful Bolton, you're not exactly a lightweight." Her voice is teasing but he arches his back pressing himself closer to her, "Troy" his name leaves her lips like a moan.

_We are tangled and brave  
We are leaking and saved  
When heaven's not waiting, it's spilling its secrets  
It's right here between us, and we've no other choice but believe  
So let it last all night_

Clothes are shed, and they come together in the way they've perfected over the past few months, his hands taking her over the edge with him, her nails lightly scraping patterns on his sweaty back. He chokes out her name, and it mingles with her moans in the quiet of the bedroom.

_Naked and tangled and twisted in love  
And tonight we are the only ones who feel it  
Heaven is here  
And tonight we are the only ones who feel it._

When he wakes up he can feel her looking at him, so he turns to meet her gaze, her eyes are filled with tears.

"Come here," He murmurs pulling her body close to him "What's wrong?"

She snuggles up against his chest, tucking her head underneath his neck. "I'm going to miss you so fucking much Troy Patrick."

He would usually laugh at her choice of words, but she's shaking in his arms, and her words are colored with emotion. He doesn't really have any words to comfort her because he's not sure how he's going to survive the next couple of months without her, without this.

"I love you, too." He says, pulling her closer. Tonight it's just them, and the real world is out there waiting, but for this one night she's his alone.

"Can we stay here a little while longer?" She asks, the words coming out in hot whispers on his skin.

He doesn't tell her that her that he could stay forever, if only she just asked. He doesn't tell her that she's beautiful, and wonderful and the next three months are going to be long and painful, and that he already misses her and she's not even gone yet. He just tightens his grip, pulling her tight against him, "Of course."


	3. Communication

Disclaimer- Once again I own nothing, well that's not true but I don't own HSM.

A/N- This one is a little different, Let me know if you like it.

Chapter Two: Communication

Subject: HELLO!  
June 3, 2006 5:05 pm

Hey Bunny!

I miss you. Camp is fun, these kids are intense, like Sharpay and Ryan intense. Kelsi and I are sharing a room in one of the cabins, and are co-counselors to a group of 11-12 year old girls. It's been less than 48 hours and I'm already pretty sure that this long distance thing is not going to be easy.

My fingers ache to touch you.

Love,  
Gabriella

Subject: Reply "HELLO!"  
To: 3, 2006 8:17pm

I don't know how Chad talked me into this tennis thing. Did I ever tell you how bad he is at tennis? How bad I am at tennis? Well it turns out Ryan, Sharpay, and Taylor all have jobs here at the camp. Ryan's life guarding, and the person who hired him to "guard lives" seriously needs to have their head examined. Sharpay is hostessing at the tavern and Taylor is a waitress there, but I guess you already knew that.

I miss you too. This is hard, but we can do it. I promise. I'm gonna cut this short and give you a call, because if your fingers ache to touch me, my ears yearn to hear your voice.

Ok so that was cheesy, and I'm pretty sure you're laughing at me now. It's ok though cause I love your laugh…alright I'm going to stop now.

Love you

* * *

Subject: Phone call  
June 4, 2006 9:01 AM

Hey I'm on my way to breakfast just wanted to say thanks. I needed to hear your voice, and I'm sure this sounds stupid, but knowing that it's hard for you makes it a little easier for me. All though you're at home and I'm here, it's nice to know that I'm not going through this alone.

Always Love

* * *

Subject: today  
June 8, 2006 7:17pm

Sharpay is having another party in a couple weeks, her parents are going to Las Vegas for the weekend. I'm not sure If I'm gonna go. I'm glad that things are going well at camp; Kelsi told Jason that you're amazing with the kids, I'm definitely not surprised.

Oh and in other news, I saw your Mom and Greg eating dinner at the Tavern tonight. They looked happy. I know it weirds you out that your mom is dating, but I decided you should be glad for her. It's been a long time since your Dad left, and Greg's a cool guy, and if she makes him feel half as good as you make me fell, he'll never hurt her.

My tennis kids called me out today, they made fun of Chad and I for about twenty minutes because we were 'stars on the basketball court' but 'sucked balls at tennis'. Ten year old boys are so very eloquent and polite. Chad proceeded to throw a fit and shot them with tennis balls for about ten minutes. It was amusing till Mr.Green the head of the camp came over and put us both on probation. I'm hoping it doesn't get back to my Dad, he would not be pleased.

So how are preparations going for the big show? Any of your girls stand out during the first audition?

Love you

* * *

Subject: Reply: today

To: 9, 2006 9:01 PM

So we have to limit our phone time? If you don't mind me saying your Dad can be a real jerk sometimes. Sorry if that was crossing the line, but why can't he understand this?

Whatever. Kelsi's musical won the competition between the counslers so they will be performing "Stones that Rock", its fun and we have a couple girls in our cabin who are completely breathtaking when they perform. It's hard to see it when you first meet them, and then they open their little mouths to sing and this giant grown up voice comes out. I'm taking away by how talented they are.

Chris, one of the guy counselors told me that one of his boys has a crush on me, he's eleven and too cute for words. So far he's the only competition you have to worry about. I told Chris to tell him I'm taken by a wonderful, fantastic, charming, beautiful boy from New Mexico, and that this boy hundreds of miles away has my heart at home next to his.

Love you

P.S – Yes I said you're beautiful, don't get all annoying and make me take it back.

* * *

Subject: Dad  
June 10, 2006 6:15 pm

So you think I'm pretty?

Haha. Yeah, you better tell that eleven year old whose girl you are. It's not out of line to say that my Dad's a jerk, he's more like a gigantic asshole. I don't understand why he cares if I call your cell from mine, it's still a local call.

I'm pretty sure he's looking for ways to punish me. Sorry it took me so long to respond, work has been crazy, and then I get home from that, and Chad, Jay, Dad and I play 2 on 2 for at least hour.

"You better stay in shape Troy, the scout's will be out looking this year…this is your chance to achieve greatness…"

Kill me now. But at least the busier I am the less time I have to think about how much I miss you. I'm pretty sure that my heart is in Colorado with yours, because nothing feels right without you here.

Sharpay told me that one of the waitresses was asking about me, when I stopped by to pick up some lunch yesterday. She asked what she should tell her. I said let her know that I'm head over heels in love with a girl from California, with a voice like an angel, and a heart the size of Texas.

Miss you more than you'll ever know.

P.S – I'm never annoying, and you'll never get it back- I'm keeping that heart of yours forever, it belongs next to mine.

* * *

Subject: Sucks  
June 15, 2006 8:30 AM 

Ok so this being busy thing and this work thing SUCKS. I miss you, I miss talking to you. We started off really good with this e-mail thing ad we are getting continually worse at it. I'm glad you called the other day. It pretty much made this weekend bareable.

The musical is coming along great, and I'm glad your staying in shape with basketball. I don't want to come home to a flabby boyfriend.

Just kidding, you know I'll love you even if you get fat.

Oh and please, you're never annoying? You're possibly one of the most frusterating people I've ever met. You're a challenge, and that's what makes this whole thing great. Because I know with you I'll never get bored, and even though you're impossible, loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done.

Kelsi and I were talking late last night, about how completely improbable it is that we would find each other. I told her that knowing you made me believe in fate. I've always believed in science, and order, and I've always been able to rationalize everything.

This thing between us made everything change, it completely altered my entire life. Falling in love with you has made me see that the most beautiful thing about life is the unexpected. That in any given moment you can fall in love, how cool is that? I wasn't even looking for you, but there you were, with those blue eyes of yours, and those dorky dance moves.

I never even dared to dream of you – and yet I opened my eyes and there was my perfect boy

I guess I'm trying to say thank you.

Gabriella

P.S – Who's the cheesy one now?

* * *

Subject: SORRY  
June 20 2006 8:15 pm 

I'm so sorry for the delay. I haven't even had time to breathe let alone check my e-mail. Even though we haven't e-mailed in like six days you're always on my mind. Don't forget that, ever. I'm glad that my dad is pretty lenient on the text thing.

I'm about to pass out I just wanted to let you know that I'm here and I'll call you tomorrow. You don't need to thank me for loving you, for being there. I guess you've reaffirmed my belief in a higher power. I've been going to church forever, praying to God, asking him for help.

I'm pretty sure that someone has to be out there watching out for us, someone had to realize that I needed you & you needed me.

You know me in a way no one else does, you get me, you see inside of me, and it used to scare the shit out of me, but now I'm just thankful and happy that you're there.

Even if you are a world away sometimes I hear a song on the radio, and I know you're always with me. Yesterday I pulled a sweatshirt out of my drawer, and it was the blue one you borrowed the night before you left, and it still smelled like you. Then I know, that this will never change, even if we decide to go to college on different coast, where ever we end up – a part of me will always love with you.

* * *

Subject: Ok  
June 20, 2006 9:01 AM

I got a phone call four days in a row! I'm glad that you decided to screw your dad, because even though we pretty much text constantly, it's not the same as hearing your voice.

Everything is going well. I miss you. I love you. I can't wait to come home. I hope you go & have fun at Sharpay's party tonight. You didn't get to see a lot of it last time (wink wink)! Give me a call later to let me know how it is.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Love you always

P.S – I have important news for you - so you better call me.


	4. The Day The Music Died

Disclaimer: I don't own HSM.

A/N: It's kind of jumpy- sorry about that but I hate dialogue, and this chapter is a reflection of that & no worries it'll be back to the t/g romance eventually.

Chapter Three: The Day the Music Died

The night has been a blur of alcohol and music, and he doesn't remember who handed him the first cup, but he's pretty sure Chad handed him the second. It tasted sweet, and he could feel the red stain his teeth as he drowned his third glass.

It was almost painful being in the Ryan's house, the memories of Gabriella filled up the rooms, and everywhere he went he missed her. The Everclear was making his vision hazy, and it was nice to put aside the loneliness for once, because damn it he loved that girl, and hell if it didn't hurt to have her be out of reach. If drinking could temporarily fill the hole in his heart that had been steadily growing over the fast few weeks he was all for it.

From his place in the kitchen he could see Ryan laughing with Chad and Taylor outside, the three of them had become fast friends since the winter, Ryan growing up after finally stepping out of Sharpay's shadow. Taylor and Chad had tentatively began dating, but eventually realized that they made much more sense as friends, and had quickly became inseparable. It was now uncommon to see one without the other, and Chad brought out a side of Taylor that was fun loving, and goofy.

He could see Sharpay perched on the edge of a lounge chair, her body draped over some unsuspecting junior. While Ryan excelled after breaking away from his twin, Sharpay had descended into a downward spiral, her slutty actions were legendary, and her bad behavior had grown from harmless manipulating, to experimenting with drugs. He was pretty sure she had spent a majority of this summer either high or drunk, and he honestly couldn't blame her. It seemed as if after the musical she had lost her identity, he knew it had to be hard to be shut off from doing the only thing that made sense.

No matter how successful he was at basketball, or how he excelled at music Gabriella was the one thing in his life he knew he was really good at, loving her came natural, it was second nature. He imagined that Sharpay felt like that while she was on stage, so it had to sting to be passed over. It was a shame really, because Sharpay was the one person he thought would be able to keep it together. He was embarrassed for her as she leaned over and placed a sloppy kiss on the boy in the chair and ended up tumbling off the chair onto the cement by the pool.

He could hear Chad's laugh float in from the open screen door, and since tonight was supposed to be a social event, he figured it wouldn't hurt to fill up his cup and then to head over towards him. He saw a sudden movement out of the corner of his eye and turned just in time to see Sharpay fall through the screen door.

He looked down at his cup, now full of jungle juice and sighed, this was going to be a long night.

* * *

Waking up with a pounding head ache, and sunshine filtering in through the blinds to light the room that is definitely not his, he hesitantly opens his eyes to find himself in a room painted pink.

The body next to his is warm and snoring lightly, when he turns to see the head of long blonde hair and an expanse of tanned skin his stomach turns. He slowly climbs out of the bed locating his khaki shorts, flip flops and his t-shirt, and proceeds to exit the room.

He messed up, and the night's coming back to him in flashes; finishing his drink, helping Sharpay get cleaned up after she fell, her throwing her body against his in the bathroom, kissing him, her mouth reeking of beer and cigarette smoke, pressing her against in the mirror as she pulled off his shirt.

_Fuck_

Then he remembers his head over the toilet, turning to watch her climb into her bed from the corner of his eye. He spent several hours hunched over the bowl, and eventually crawled over to her bed, shed the rest of his clothes and passed out. He opens his car door while searching through his pockets to find his keys, and suddenly his phone is playing New Found Glory.

It's Gabriella and a part of him doesn't want to answer, doesn't want to have to do this, because he can't pick up that phone and lie to her, he can't pretend that he didn't betray her. He flips open his phone, and hears the phone click and a rush of breath.

"Morning Brie," He answers, attempting to find normalcy. Troy starts his car and begins to back out of the driveway, wanting to just climb into his bed and forget.

"Hey," her voice is happy, and still husky from sleep "What's up? Did you have fun last night?"

He hesitates, feeling the tears in the back of his throat, because this is going to break her, this is going to kill her, and he's not sure how to begin so he just spits it out.

"I got wasted." He begins and his heart is racing, and his palms are sweaty because he's ending this, he's breaking her. "I hooked up with Sharpay."

The words are out and he doesn't wait to here her reaction, doesn't want to hear her cry, because once upon a time he told her he would never be the one to cause her tears. He lied and he broke her and he's so fucking sorry.

* * *

"I guess what I want to say is I'm sorry. I'm sorry that it happened. I'm sorry that I have to tell you this way. I'm just sorry."

There are hundreds of miles between them, and sometimes it feels like more and his voice is tinny in her ear and she pretends she can't tell that he's letting go. This is goodbye, because he is out of reach and what's between them has always thrived on the tangible. Because he was once there, with his smile and his laugh, and his hands that always ended up on her. This is the end and she will be brave for him, but mostly for herself because she can't afford a breakdown.

This thing between them may be ending now, but she knows it's not the end, and it will never really end because apparently the first love is the one you don't ever truly forget. Her Mother's words echo in her head and she was told that eighteen is too young to think of forever, but she did, and when the lights were off and they basked in the lazy comfort of the afterglow she could see the shadows of a future. She could see him and her and it was always.

She remembers that day in his car and he told her he loved her and she knows she will never forget the way that felt, and the way the spring air smelled like flowers, and she could taste the promise of the forever. Once she believed that everything Troy Bolton ever touched turned to gold, but now she feels rusted and broken, and she knows even if she succeeds in music, and school, she has failed at the only thing that has ever mattered.

"Are you going to say anything Gabriella?" His voice is in her ear, and for a minute it's as if none of this has happened but she is brought back to the now, and she can literally feel her hear breaking.

"I don't know what to say Troy." The words are emotionless, because everything she feels is balled up in her chest. And suddenly she knows that what Troy and her have, or had, was completely real, because if it wasn't she wouldn't feel like this.

She wouldn't feel so empty, so fucking dead inside, and he has wrecked her in the worst possible of ways, because she has spent the past month missing him, loving him, and wanting him. She has been daydreaming about forever, and next year and now she is angry.

"I was going to give up EVERYTHING for you Troy. Everything." It hurts worse because she loves him, she still loves him, but she is going to break him like he broke her, she is going to destroy him. Maybe she will forgive him, but she will never forget how this feels. She can see the future now and it looks nothing like she once pictured.

In a few weeks when they are back at school, everyone will laugh and hug and smile and sing, and act like nothing has changed, when in reality it has all gone to hell. Because he was once there, and he kissed her and made love to her and made promises he apparently never intended to keep.

It will inevitably start again, and they will keep secrets from everyone, and from each other. She will not know that in the days between he couldn't keep food down, and he quit his job, and he couldn't even find solace on the court where everything used to make sense. He won't be aware that his words and actions have ripped a hole inside of her. He won't know that now every time he touches her or looks at her she can feel her heart shatter at his feet. He will kiss her and she will imagine his lips on Sharpay's, and when he smiles she will be haunted by their past happiness.

She will wish it was different, that it was real, that the happy endings in the romantic movies she once compared her life to could rub off onto them. She will never be happy because he will never be hers. They will kiss and cuddle in the dark and she will quietly tell him that she loves him and he will smile and say the words back but they will sound hollow.

"What?" She can hear the tears, and she wants this to end, she wants to hang up and to bury her head in her hands, and when did life get this hard.

"What? I was going to apply to UNC and Duke, I was going to fight for us. I was going to give up my dream of Stanford for you. I couldn't deal with the thought of being away from you. I was going to tell you last night- that was my important news. " She is yelling and screaming and Kelsi is suddenly in the room staring at her. She knows that she has makeup running down her cheeks, and she is sure that her face is contorted in agony, and even though she has an audience she continues. "I was stupid enough to believe that you were at home feeling the same way I was, and that this was real, that this was our future. I was foolish enough to think that this meant more to you." He is choking back sobs and she is losing steam because she isn't the only one who is breaking, and she remembers the way he looked at her, the way he touched her. Gabriella knows that she was Troy Bolton's everything.

"She didn't mean anything, it meant absolutely nothing." Troy is begging, pleading with her to stay with him, pleading with her to just understand.

"No Troy, it meant everything." She is hanging up the phone because she is breaking down, and she cannot be strong anymore, and she cannot deal with this, and she cannot forgive. She is aware that Kelsi is still there, with her big eyes full of questions.

"Gab…" Kelsi starts and Gabriella throws her arms around her and weeps because there are no answers, and she has no words.

* * *

The dial tone beeps, but all he can hear is her sadness, and her anger, and this is what heartbreak feels like. Nothing can compare to this pain, because if he felt bad this morning he feels even worse now, and telling her did nothing to ease the guilt that is slowly eating his heart.

He wants nothing more than to get in his car and drive to her, he wants to hold her close and tell her he saw the same future, and that when he pictures college without her It didn't seem quite so amazing. He wants to tell her that she is his life, she is his happiness, she is his laugh, and his smile. She is the best thing that has ever happened to him, and that suddenly everything looks grey, and nothing quite makes sense.

Music is out of tune, and melodies are muted, and everything is hazy. He won't go to work today, because he can't bare to deal with Taylor's anger, or Chad's pity, and he certainly can't handle facing Sharpay.

He enters his room drowning in the silence, and wallowing in his grief, because something just died, and he's not sure what it is. If its him, or if it's her, or if it's hope, because he knows that it isn't his love for her, because that's still strong, he can still feel it racing through his veins.

Reaching over to his night stand he grabs his Ipod, and switches off his bed side lamp. The music filters in through the ear buds as he shuts his eyes, and attempts to forget. He knows it's futile and when the music starts, he weeps, because this is the beginning of the end.

I feel that when I'm old  
I'll look at you and know  
The world was beautiful

Then you tell me...  
You say that love goes anywhere  
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there  
When you go, I'll let you be  
But you're killing everything in me


	5. Strangers Again

Disclaimer : I don't own anything

A/N - Next chapter will be long I promise!

Long before we ever kissed  
Long before I ever missed you  
I wish we were strangers again

I want yesterday to come back again  
Nothing is as simple as I once knew  
Why can't everything be the way it was  
Before the day that I lost you?

The last months at camp passed by slow, and he didn't call or e-mail, but sent notes and mix CDs. She was mostly glad because she buried herself in her work, and she sang, danced, and laughed with Kelsi and her campers. She made it through the days trying hard to forget his voice on the phone, trying hard to pretend that her heart isn't ripped in two.

The notes were on post cards, silly stories, quotes, pieces of music or poetry, the last was ee cummings because _here is the deepest secret nobody knows; and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart, i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart._ She cried because it's true, and she's not sure where her heart is because she felt it race as she pictured him hunched over his desk, eyes red while scratching out lines, on the back of a miniature Picasso print. She survived her months at camp to arrive home in time for the first day of school, receiving a call from Chad late last night, who told her Troy wanted to meet her here, so Gabriella spent hours carefully boxing up t-shirts, sweats, and CDs that were strewn around her room, mixed in with her things like they belonged there.

Now she stands alone in the cold high school gym with a death grip on the cardboard box wondering how they got here. She can taste the failure on her tongue and it's bitter with regret, because she remembers kissing him like it was yesterday and she would have had held on longer if she knew it would be the last time. She wouldn't have been so quick to dash into the airport after Kelsi, she would have spent more time enveloped in his arms, wrapped up in his scent. But it's over and she's quickly learned that wasting time on could've and should've will just break your heart more, her hands are sweaty and her heart is beating fast, because she can hear the squeak of gym shoes on the wooden floor.

He's there, and she wants to cry, because he looks thinner, and his eyes are tired, every bone in her body wants to run to him and take him in her arms.

"Hey," he pauses, grimacing as he looks down at the box in her hands, "I'm so fucking sorry Brie."

His voice is full of tears and she knows she's going to lose it if she tries to talk, so she meets his eyes and hands over the box. Their fingertips graze, and she's wincing at the contact, because it's so damn hard to be this close to him, to touch him, but not really _touch him._ Looking at him it's obvious she still loves him, and her heart is begging her brain to just forgive and forget, because every once of her wants to be with him, and wants to lose herself in his kiss.

They stand in silence, and she looks at his toes, and his legs, and wonders if she'll ever feel them tangled up with hers again. Her gaze travels upwards to his stomach, and his chest, and she just wants to know if she'll ever be able to feel his heartbeat beneath her fingertips, or rest her head on his shoulder, or kiss the freckles on his neck.

Suddenly she's in his arms, and they stay entwined in each other for longer than a moment, and Gabriella thinks she's going to drown in the silence of their grief, because this is really goodbye.

He's letting go, and she's grabbing tighter as the tears fall down her cheeks and soak his shirt.

"I missed you" she whispers against the cotton. He tightens his grasp, and in that instant it's painfully obvious that this isn't over, because both of them are holding on with everything they have left.

"I missed you too Brie" She can hear his regret, and they untangle themselves, and he wipes her tears away with his thumb.

"This isn't over," his voice is hopeful, and she can feel the weight on her chest dissipate.

"I need time" She replies, and turns away without saying goodbye, because he still knows how to interpret her silence.


	6. Always Love

A/N – So I got back to school and found out I have no time to update, but here it is the end. I'm working on something else I'm just thinking maybe this time I'll have it completed before I post. Thanks for reading!

Always Love

It had been months since the day in the gym and Thanksgiving break was upon them, Gabriella and Troy had come to a fragile friendship that made school less awkward and their mutual friends feel a little less weird. But here he is standing outside of her balcony at two in the morning as she tries to pack up her clothes for a long weekend in California with her Mother and Grandmother.

They were trying so hard to hold it together, and to stay platonic. The months had passed and it's almost normal but it's always there in the back of his mind, the what if, the when, because he heard her unspoken promise of someday. He hears that she's dating and he hopes it's a lie, but he saw her lean against her locker with flushed cheeks, smiling shyly at a swimmer, and knows it's not.

That's how he ends up here.

"What do you want Troy?" She's tired and frustrated and seeing him still makes her palm sweats, and the butterflies are still there.

"I'm in love with you." He's standing in her door way and her eyes are filled with tears and she really can't deal with this. They've finally gotten to a place where it doesn't hurt her to look at him and now here he is opening up old wounds, that haven't really healed. "You told me it wasn't over."

"What the hell are you thinking Troy? You fucked up you're the reason it's over. You got drunk. You kissed her. That's the end of this story." The words fly out in a sarcastic biting tone and he looks at her like she has destroyed his world. God she loves him like this, all vulnerability standing with his heart and his hands. He sinks against the door jam and the words tumble out.

She is breathless with want.

"I just need you Gabriella. I was up just thinking of things I wanted to ask you, things I wanted to tell you and I'm sorry. Sharpay isn't what I want. You are. I love you. You are my future, you're it for me. You're the one. You're the Mother of my children, and the person I want to wake up next to everyday. This might sound cheesy, and rehearsed and impossible, because…Fuck we're eighteen, but we're the lucky ones Gabriella. We found it. We found what people spend their entire lives looking for, and being apart from you, this…separation has made it even clearer." The words are on the tip of her tongue she needs to say no, to get him out of here, out of this room, out of her life.

His eyes meet hers, he inches closer and his hands are on her face. He's been inside of her and he has seen her naked but she has never felt so stripped bare, her heart is now in his hands.

"You make me want to be a good man Gabriella. I want to be good for you. I've never wanted that and it scares the hell out of me. This scares the hell out of me, but it's even scarier imagining a life without you in it."

She wants him to go. She needs him to leave. She has always been the queen of contradiction, so she instead of kicking him she kisses him and his hands are on her and she has never felt more complete.

She pulls him inside her room and shuts the door, and as he kisses away her fears she is confident that **this is what love feels like**. No matter what her Mother says, or his Father, she believes him. He is her future. He is her everything, and she's one hundred percent sure he will spend forever reminding her that she's his.

They tumble on the bed, and for once, she's ready to follow his lead.


End file.
